Falling
by morgim1103
Summary: Oneshot LJ James is always asking Lily out and Lily loves everything about him so why does she say no?


This kinda just came to me... I know i should be working on _Beauty and The Prat_ but i'm suffering from writers block... i think i kinda have an idea tho but it came to me while writing this (tho it doesn't really have to do with this story)

For now this is a oneshot but if i get a lot of reviews and I have another writers block for _Beauty and The Prat _I might add some more chapters because I have some ideas. . . but i might want to use them in _Beauty and The Prat _instead of here... but enough of my rambling.

_disclaimer: to dream, the impossible dream...

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"Lily will you go out with me?" Lily Evans looked up from her book into the deep hazel eyes of James Potter. She was infatuated with those eyes and the jet black hair that fell over them and stuck up in random places. She was smitten with his toned body and desperately wanted to be held in his arms. His calming yet proud personality was one of which she was taken with.

"No."

It killed her to see the pained look in his eyes. It was like committing suicide saying the word. She wanted him to be hers, but she never would be able to have him. She just couldn't risk herself being hurt again.

James stood up from his place next to Lily in front of the fire in the Gryffindor common room and gave her one last look before passing through the giant portrait into the corridors. She watched him go and felt her heart trying to chase after him.

She wanted to say yes to his continuous asking. She hated pretending she couldn't stand him. She felt like a thousand needles pierced her heart every time she yelled an insult at him. She couldn't let herself love him.

She thought she loved the other guy, Derek, the handsome Ravenclaw. She thought he would always be there for her loving her back and giving her the best care he could. She knew she should have seen the signs, but when one is fooled into thinking they are in love they are oblivious to danger.

She couldn't be hurt again. She couldn't detach herself once more from the world. She couldn't starve herself letting the emptiness in her stomach be a reminder of the emptiness in her heart.

But maybe James would be different. He was always watching out for her, caring for her even when she treated him poorly. When he body eventually gave out from lack of food, he carried her to the hospital wing and stayed with her, not leaving her side until she woke up twenty-seven hours later. He made sure she started to eat properly again and that she was able to keep living. It was because of him she managed to survive.

She continued to treat him poorly, in fear of developing deeper feelings, but he stayed there for her. Every once in awhile she would snap out of her rude behavior and the two would talk as if they were old friends, but immediately stopped as she felt her self feel more towards to messy haired wizard.

She couldn't let herself fall. She had told herself that there was a reason for saying on has 'fallen' in love. Love, like falling, was painful and best be avoided.

She needed to get out of the common room. She made her way up to the astronomy tower where she could be alone with just the stars and moon.

The moon was almost full. She leaned against the brick ledge. As she starred into the heavens, she felt tears well up in her eyes, and the hot salty liquid began to fall down her face. She closed her eyes. If only she could let herself tell him the truth.

Suddenly she felt a hand brush against her cheek as her eyes remained shut. "Lily please don't cry." The deep soothing voice belonged to _him_. His hand was under her chin and she soaked in the feeling of his soft warm touch. He gently tilted her head up. "I can't live if you're not happy." She opened her eyes to find his soft gaze upon her. She lost herself in his sparkling orbs. "Lily please understand. I can't breathe seeing you cry. I'd do anything to make you smile, even if that means I have to live without you."

She couldn't hold herself any longer and collapsed into his arms. She knew he meant what he said. "I'd die if you left me!" She sobbed into his shoulder. As he pulled her tighter into his embrace she knew he would never try to intentionally hurt her and he had her best interests at heart. "You're all I have, everyone else I loved is now gone."

Flashes went through her head of the last summer when the ruler of darkness, Voldemort, made her family and two closet friends his victims. She remembered James being there for her then with his comforting voice again.

"I'll always be here for you Lily if you want me to. I hope you know that."

The words he spoke hit her as if the _Knight Bus_ ran over her. She realized she did always know that deep down but didn't want to admit it, just like she wouldn't admit that she…

"James?" She looked into his hazel eyes once again.

"Yes Lily?" he reached up and stroked her hair. She cherished the way he spoke her name so softly and gently. Tears started to well up in her eyes once more. She was afraid to admit the truth but what he had told her rang in the back of her mind, _"I'd do anything to make you smile, even if that means I have to live without you."_

"James, I…I…I love you." She tried not to start sobbing at the silence that followed her confession.

James leaned over so he was at her eye level. "Love is an understatement for how I feel about you."

He placed his lips onto hers, and with his soft touch and warmness, she felt all her worries and miseries break free from her body where they had been chained up for so long, finally leaving, planning not to come back. The only thing left know was the passionate love she had for James.

It was then as they shared the kiss with the most passion ever that she realized the true meaning of 'falling' in love. One never expects or can have control over when they fall, and it might hurt a little, but the good falls end up okay.

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Hope you liked it! please review! especially if u liked it and want more chapters bc depending on the # of reviews i get will depend on more chapters or if it will stay a one shot. also take a look at my other fic while ur at it that i mentioned in my AN above, _Beauty and The Prat _which is another LJ fic.

thanks for reading :) hugs

mm1103


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